“Co-Dependent God”
Eighteenth Sunday after Pentecost
September 22, 2024
"Faith-to-Face Partners"--a Faith Partners Ministry
Genesis 2:15-17; 3:1-13, 20-24
Narrator: We all know the story of Adam and Eve’s great sin in the Garden of Eden, when the snake enticed them to eat from the tree that God had specifically told them to avoid. In Genesis, that decision brought them the knowledge of good and evil. It brought them shame in their nakedness. And the consequence was that God made them leave the garden so that they didn’t also eat from the tree of life.
As parents, following through with consequences is difficult. We want to support and shelter our children. We want to lift up and champion our partners. We can often fall into the trap of becoming co-dependent.
The story you are about to hear is allegory and imagination. It asks the question: What if God were co-dependent? What if God didn’t set necessary boundaries? What if God…were like us?
Scene 1 takes place in the garden. Adam and Eve have just eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. They are hiding among the bushes as God passes through the garden looking for them.
God: Adam? Eve? Where are you? Where did you go?
Adam: No! Don’t look! We can explain. It’s not what it looks like.
God: It looks like you may have eaten from the tree I told you to avoid. Is that right?
Eve: Well, yeah.
God: Oh. Thank…ME! I was worried you had left me. But why did you disobey? Haven’t I given you everything you could want? Food and drink and shelter?
Eve: Well…yeah. But the serpent told us that you lied to us. He said that the fruit of the tree would make us like you. We would know things we didn’t know before.
God: (a little verklempt) Like me? You wanted to be like me?
Adam: Yeah. I mean, you can’t get much better than God, right?
God: That’s true. Man, what was I thinking putting that serpent in the garden with you? You didn’t have a prayer. He’s so cunning and deceitful. I should have known better. I can’t believe I made such a horrible mistake. You must hate me!
Eve: No, we don’t hate you. But you’re right. It’s your fault. If the serpent hadn’t been there, we would’ve never disobeyed you.
Adam: Tell you what. Give us something to cover up with, and let’s try again. No one needs to know about this.
God: Well, I don’t know. It’s not really how things are supposed to go. Now you understand shame and guilt. I really should throw you out of the garden. Because the last thing I want you to do is eat from the tree of life and live forever in this state. Let me think about it.
Eve: Oh, come on! We promise we won’t touch that tree. And we’ll be sure to tell all the other creatures just how amazing and gracious and wonderful and powerful you are. Please?
God: Well, all right. But I’m going to put my angels around the tree to keep you from getting too close.
………………………….
Narrator: A few days later…
God: Adam? Eve? Where did you go? (in panic) Where are you?
Eve: Over here. (stands by Adam, who has been injured by the angel protecting the tree of life)
God: What happened?
Adam: Your warrior here tried to cut my arm off! The jerk.
God: Why? What did you do?
Adam: I didn’t do anything! I was just walking by, swinging my arms, when this trigger-happy bird sliced at me. You need to do something about him. He’s a menace!
God: But I told the angels to only engage if you tried to take fruit from the tree.
Eve: I was there. I saw the whole thing. That angel is a vigilante! He’s dangerous. He should be locked up. My poor Adam.
God: But…
Adam: Listen, if you don’t do something about those angels, we can’t stay here anymore. It’s them or us.
God: Well…okay. I put them there to protect you.
Eve: Clearly, they didn’t get the memo.
God: Yes. You’re right. We can’t have them hurting you willy nilly. What if…now, this may sound corny, but what about an electric fence to keep you from getting too close to the tree.
Adam: What do you think we are? Cattle?
God: Oh. No. That won’t do.
Eve: We promise we won’t go near the tree. Don’t you trust us?
God: Well, of course I trust you. As long as you promise.
Eve: Great! Well, that’s settled.
………………….
Narrator: But God wasn’t sure, so God stood sentry near the tree day and night, trying desperately to protect Adam and Eve. The next morning, as Adam attempted to sneak to the tree of life, he saw God standing there and got angry.
Adam: You’ve gotta be kidding me! I can’t believe you didn’t trust us!
God: But weren’t you just now sneaking to the tree?
Adam: That’s beside the point. You clearly can’t be trusted to stand by your word. We’re outta here!
Narrator: And Adam and Eve left the garden. As soon as they left, the garden disappeared. Their lives were difficult. Adam found himself struggling to grow food on the land. And Eve struggled through childbirth. Because neither ate from the tree of life, they both eventually died. As did their children, and their children’s children.
For generations, God attempted to get the attention and approval of their descendants. But every generation turned away. Finally, God came into the earth as human. A child, born to a young woman. The child’s name was Jesus. And he grew up learning the stories of his ancestors.
He was God’s final attempt at saving these humans. God had come to the end of the rope. The only thing God could think of to get their attention was to sacrifice God’s very self for them. Jesus died on the cross, and three days later, rose from the dead. The next day, he appeared to his disciples who had locked themselves in their room for fear of being killed, themselves.
Jesus: Peace be with you.
Disciple: Is it really you?
Jesus: Yes. Feel the holes in my hands and side. Look what I went through to get your attention.
Disciple: No one asked you to do that. In fact, that’s the last thing we wanted.
Jesus: But, don’t you get it? I love you so much that I died for you. You owe me!
Disciple: Come again?
Jesus: You owe me. I gave up everything for you. I starved in the desert for you. I endured condemnation for you. I was beaten for you. I died for you. You owe me.
Disciples: What do we owe you?
Jesus: Everything. You owe me everything. I gave you everything. You owe me. You owe me your money. You owe me your love. You owe me your allegiance. You owe me your life.
Narrator: And that, my friends, is what a co-dependent God would sound like. Now, let’s take some time to discuss what was wrong with that picture.
(Invitation for congregation to participate in the following discussion.)
Here are some indicators of co-dependency:
Fear of rejection: God was afraid the humans would leave the garden, so God did everything to try to keep them there and keep them safe—to the point of breaking God’s own rules.
Enabling: God enabled Adam’s and Eve’s behaviors by backing off of the consequences and trying to cover up their decisions by over-compensating (expelling the serpent, firing the angels)
Fear of conflict: God did everything to avoid accusing Adam and Eve, to the point of taking on their guilt.
Fear of boundaries: God kept moving the boundary (literally) in order to keep the peace with the humans.
Constant reassurance: God kept making decisions and doing things to make the humans happy so that they would keep loving God.
Struggle to say ‘no’: God was afraid that saying ‘no’ to the humans would destroy their relationship.
Taking on extra responsibilities: God chose to stand guard around the tree of life to protect the humans from another bad decision rather than set clear boundaries and follow through with the consequences.
Expectation of reciprocal services: In the end, God (in Jesus) expected and demanded payback for the sacrifice made.
This is not how God works! God is not co-dependent, and this is not how the Biblical story of God and God’s people is told. Yet, it often gets told in this way—especially once we get to the part about Jesus.
God didn’t become human and die so that we owe God allegiance. That capitalizes on shame and guilt.
God doesn’t need our love. God desires our love and our relationships. But God loves us no matter what. That’s what grace is all about.
(further explanation to follow)…
written by Pastor Tobi White
Our Saviour’s Lutheran Church
Lincoln, NE
