“Faith at the Crossroads”

Midweek Lent, 4

March 13, 2024

Matthew 16:21-23

As most of you know by now, Our Saviour’s is where I did my internship for seminary. And it was my first call. I came in 2009 as associate Pastor alongside Lowell Hennigs. And that first year was a doozy. In my first month, the ELCA passed the Social Statement on Sexuality which put many congregations, including ours, into a bit of a tailspin. While we didn’t decide one way or another how to respond, many people left our community.

In January, the intern that had served here after my internship died in the earthquake in Haiti. His young wife and cousin were with him. And Our Saviour’s entered a time of grief I could never anticipate. Within the year, Pastor Lowell resigned from OSLC. In the month after he left, his own wife died unexpectedly, and we experienced grief upon grief upon grief. I was exhausted. And that’s when I found out I was pregnant with Avery.

For the next few years, we went through numerous ups and downs. Staff changes, significant losses, and deep wounds. Financial loss and pay cuts. Experimenting with new things—and often failing. All the while struggling to experience hope and joy. In 2016, I went through another dark time, and for four years, I became a truly angry preacher. In all that time, I doubted my call. I doubted my ability. I doubted my faith. I doubted our future.

Every time one more household left the congregation, I wondered—often to our leadership—whether I was the right person to lead us. Was I doing more damage than good?

When Jesus told the disciples what was before them, Peter also doubted. He doubted that the road they were on was the right trajectory. He did his best to turn things around—to turn Jesus around. How could a future of loss and pain be a product of faith? Wasn’t God supposed to give victory? Wasn’t God supposed to reward faithfulness? If they were headed to the cross, Peter thought, maybe they made a wrong turn along the way. Maybe they had gotten something wrong. How do they get back on track?

Jesus and the disciples had entered a crossroads in their ministry. It was becoming clear that faith didn’t mean easy; that God doesn’t pave the path just because we believe; that following Jesus doesn’t lead to roses and rainbows. Instead, faithfulness can often lead to persecution. Faithfulness can often lead to dissention. Faithfulness can often make others angry. Faithfulness can often disrupt the status quo. Faithfulness ALWAYS leads to the cross.

I found, over the course of these many years at OSLC, that though I wish the outcome was often different, I could not do other than what I did. I could not preach other than what I preached. And as we look over the past 15 years from the perspective of being a Reconciling in Christ congregation, I would not change a thing. Of course, I wish that many who left could have joined us on this journey. I grieve many who have chosen another path. But who we are right now—the stories of welcome I have heard these past few months, in particular—have made all the pain and grief worth it to me.

Jesus knew what Peter would eventually accept: proclaiming the gospel will both make enemies of some and protect others. Jesus will go on—and we’ll hear it again this next week—that what we bind on earth will be bound in heaven and what we loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. The crossroads we enter is simply this: Who do we anger, and who do we protect? Who do we set free and why? And who do we follow and why?

If there were any other way, as Peter desires, Jesus would have taken it. But there isn’t. Not if Jesus will achieve his mission of salvation and abundant life for the whole world. The way of faithfulness that will always lead to his death. Because it’s only on the other side of death that we can truly experience a resurrection. New life. New hope. A new way of being. Reconciliation.

Pastor Tobi White

Our Saviour’s Lutheran Church

Lincoln, NE